i feel too young
Danse Macabre // Charles Camille Saint-Saens
no i don’t want anyone to respond to me after i write this i just want to vent out before i explode
ugh i dont know what to do anymore? maybe when school starts my mind will be more at ease since ill be focused on school work and whatnot, but for now it doesnt matter what i do these days anymore, at night i always seem fed up with myself and the life im living. i dont know, everything is perfect, why should i complain? why do i feel so empty all the time it makes no sense?
oh right because im lonely, makes perfect sense.
but i shouldnt need someone to make me feel better i just want to go on living without worrying about who i should and why and im just so sick of some people sometimes and so maybe i should just keep isolated from people?? i dont know but lately i feel left out of everything besides the things im involved in and i just feel so selfish and degraded and uGH I DONT KNOW
i also feel vile and humiliated by my weight and my appearance and despite all the wonderful comments i receive from people i still feel like this horrible ugly beast and i just ugh i dont know i need to stop ranting about that because my friends will most likely get angry with me about
but im also really angry with a few things someone said to my friend not that long ago about how he goes through so much trouble in school because of the way he is and he said straight to my friend who hasnt been able to fit in since day one and how hard it was for him to go through school and i dont know im seeing the ugly in everyone lately and i just dont think i can do it anymore i just want to cry but i cant because i dont want to
i want to live somewhere else
i want to be someone else
i want to have some sort of talent
and fit in better
and maybe have a prettier voice
and a prettier smile
and just be overall the pretty i want to be??
im so pathetic sometimes
